The Trivial Pursuit of Happiness

After my brother passed away, my goals in life became more purposeful. I was in the Navy and loved the military, but I hated my job as an Electronic Technician (ET). I enlisted as an ET because that was the rate that offered the most money for college, and I planned to finish my Bachelor's degree eventually. After having majored in Marine Biology, Music Therapy, and Psychology, I decided the best way to turn my brother's death into something positive was to use my experience with mental illness to help others. I planned to finish my Bachelor's degree in Psychology and continue to Graduate School to study for my Ph. D. Part one of my plan worked out rather successfully. I received my Bachelor's degree in Psychology with honors in 2009. I began Graduate School that fall. The second part of my plan was a miserable failure. The anxiety I experienced from the workload of classes and research led me to wish it was physical pain I had to endure. I sought help at the Veteran...

The implications of our influence on the people in our lives is more far reaching than we comprehend. My brother Josh was diagnosed with schizophrenia when he was 19; I will never forget the exact question he asked me as we were walking back to our apartment in South Miami, "Do you ever hear voices? Well actually it's more like a growl." That moment in my life was one of those times when the pit of my stomach sank. I had always protected my brother and I felt completely helpless and lost. As his big sister, I felt guilty that he was the one with the predisposition for mental illness. I spent years questioning what was so different about us that he had to go through the experience and I didn't. I blamed my mother and the years of "ups and downs" we experienced while her bipolar disorder went untreated. I blamed my mother's upbringing for her illness, and eventually decided that there was no one specific individual to blame, nor did it matter. What was imp...