Love is in the Music
I am sure the lady in the minivan behind me earlier today was annoyed that I was barely going the speed limit. I didn't really care either, I had nowhere to be. And even if I did, I always leave with extra time to spare. Besides, I was having a deep conversation with myself inside my head. For a brief moment of time, I was without worry and stress, because I was determined to figure this hypothesis of mine out with the proof to explain it to you.
What if? What if, it is possible to fall in love with a piece of music? The conditions would have to be absolutely perfect, I suspect. The melody, the timbre, tempo, and the connection to the piece the performer conveys. To demonstrate this point, I think back to a voice lesson I had to prepare for my audition at the University of Miami. I has chosen two musical theater pieces: Wishing you Were Somehow Here Again from the Phantom of the Opera and I Dreamed a Dream from Les Miserables (Les Miz as the cool kids called it back then). I was just barely 18 at the time, and sang through each piece, then awaited the constructive criticism. I will never forget what that voice teacher said to me, well the gist of it. The piece is sung by Fantine when she has lost almost everything in the story. This teacher basically told me I wasn't mature enough to put myself in Fantine's shoes. I got so angry, but kept my mouth shut to make it through the last few lessons I would have with her. By the age of 18, I had experienced the death of a sibling, a parent with severe mental illness, physical abuse, etc. And, the artistic ability of a musician is in the ability to connect to a piece of music and be able to convey that connection to an audience during a performance.
But, alas, "sopranos are a dime a dozen" and becoming a successful musician is statistically harder than becoming a professional athlete. The last time I performed on stage, was shortly before leaving for the Navy at the Lincoln County Theater in Damariscotta, Maine. I also auditioned for Navy Bands in Rhode Island, but was told I didn't know enough jazz standards. I was trained as mostly a classical vocalist and personally, hated how vocal jazz sounded like whining.
So the theory I began to consider today: what if, we can fall in love with music or maybe, as a result of it? The physical reactions of increased heart rate, chills, tears, joy, are all also typically experienced in the throes of love- and yes, can include profound pain.
When I was a teenager, music was the way I dealt with my emotions because without it, I didn't express them or have anyone to express them to. Without this connection to music, I suspect I would have grown up much less adjusted to survive what life throws my way. When I am happy, depressed, anxious, etc., listening to music that intensifies the emotion I feel at that time leaves me with a feeling of cleansing and often catharsis. After watching Immortal Beloved, every time I hear the first movement of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, I nearly cry thinking about how Beethoven was severely beaten by his father when he was just five or six. There are some evenings when I can't wait to go to sleep so when I wake up in the morning I can put on a playlist of fast moving melodies to get my blood pumping. I guess love isn't all that is in the music. There is also joy, despair, and resilience.
The reason I decided to write about this, is because of a piece of music I just can't figure out. I don't think I have ever felt so many emotions from one piece and all at the same time. I listened to the soundtrack of The Greatest Showman before seeing the movie because I heard such great reviews about it and knew other amazing work by Pasek and Paul, like Dear Evan Hansen. I quickly learned all the music from the movie and one of the songs just absolutely struck me at my core. I can't tell if it is the lyrics, melody, or the actress who performs it that absolutely takes me to a moment of bliss that seems to end as soon as it begins. Every time I listen to Never Enough, I get the chills. Maybe it's the belt range, which is pretty astronomical by theater standards.
Maybe, music just says what we can't say with words.
What if? What if, it is possible to fall in love with a piece of music? The conditions would have to be absolutely perfect, I suspect. The melody, the timbre, tempo, and the connection to the piece the performer conveys. To demonstrate this point, I think back to a voice lesson I had to prepare for my audition at the University of Miami. I has chosen two musical theater pieces: Wishing you Were Somehow Here Again from the Phantom of the Opera and I Dreamed a Dream from Les Miserables (Les Miz as the cool kids called it back then). I was just barely 18 at the time, and sang through each piece, then awaited the constructive criticism. I will never forget what that voice teacher said to me, well the gist of it. The piece is sung by Fantine when she has lost almost everything in the story. This teacher basically told me I wasn't mature enough to put myself in Fantine's shoes. I got so angry, but kept my mouth shut to make it through the last few lessons I would have with her. By the age of 18, I had experienced the death of a sibling, a parent with severe mental illness, physical abuse, etc. And, the artistic ability of a musician is in the ability to connect to a piece of music and be able to convey that connection to an audience during a performance.
But, alas, "sopranos are a dime a dozen" and becoming a successful musician is statistically harder than becoming a professional athlete. The last time I performed on stage, was shortly before leaving for the Navy at the Lincoln County Theater in Damariscotta, Maine. I also auditioned for Navy Bands in Rhode Island, but was told I didn't know enough jazz standards. I was trained as mostly a classical vocalist and personally, hated how vocal jazz sounded like whining.
So the theory I began to consider today: what if, we can fall in love with music or maybe, as a result of it? The physical reactions of increased heart rate, chills, tears, joy, are all also typically experienced in the throes of love- and yes, can include profound pain.
When I was a teenager, music was the way I dealt with my emotions because without it, I didn't express them or have anyone to express them to. Without this connection to music, I suspect I would have grown up much less adjusted to survive what life throws my way. When I am happy, depressed, anxious, etc., listening to music that intensifies the emotion I feel at that time leaves me with a feeling of cleansing and often catharsis. After watching Immortal Beloved, every time I hear the first movement of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, I nearly cry thinking about how Beethoven was severely beaten by his father when he was just five or six. There are some evenings when I can't wait to go to sleep so when I wake up in the morning I can put on a playlist of fast moving melodies to get my blood pumping. I guess love isn't all that is in the music. There is also joy, despair, and resilience.
The reason I decided to write about this, is because of a piece of music I just can't figure out. I don't think I have ever felt so many emotions from one piece and all at the same time. I listened to the soundtrack of The Greatest Showman before seeing the movie because I heard such great reviews about it and knew other amazing work by Pasek and Paul, like Dear Evan Hansen. I quickly learned all the music from the movie and one of the songs just absolutely struck me at my core. I can't tell if it is the lyrics, melody, or the actress who performs it that absolutely takes me to a moment of bliss that seems to end as soon as it begins. Every time I listen to Never Enough, I get the chills. Maybe it's the belt range, which is pretty astronomical by theater standards.
Maybe, music just says what we can't say with words.
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